I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU STILL HAVE THE GUTS TO MESS WITH ALL MY ACCOUNTS AND SHIT. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL AND I HOPE EVERYBODY BURNS YOUR FUCKING BALLS.




YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

[mood| contemplative ]
[music| crushcrushcrush / / Paramore ]

In one way or another, there's always a loser that lives out inside us. Some people choose to ignore it and pretend it never existed, and some embrace it with utmost pride and dignity. I AM NOT EMO.



























8:51 PM -- after all the calmness of life that I have gotten through--
I AM SLAIN!!

Reposted from Lia's blog.

---

One day Satan and Jesus were
 having a
 conversation.

 Satan had just departed
 from the Garden of Eden, and he was
 gloating and boasting.

 "Yes, sir, I just caught
 a World full of people down there. I
 set me a trap and used a little bait.
 I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em
 all!"

 "What are you going to
 do with them?" Jesus asked.

 Satan replied, "Oh, I'm
 gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them
 how to marry and divorce each other,
 how to hate and abuse each other, how
 to drink and smoke and curse. I'm
 gonna teach them how to invent guns
 and bombs and kill each other. I'm
 really gonna have fun!"

 "And what will you do
 when you get done with them?" Jesus
 asked.

 "Oh, I'll kill 'em,"
 Satan glared proudly.

 "How much do you want
 for them?" Jesus asked

 "Oh, you don't want
 those people. They ain't no good.
 see,
 you'll take them and they'll just
 hate
 you. They'll spit on you, curse you
 then kill you. You don't want those
 people!!"

 "How much?" He asked
 again.

 Satan looked at Jesus
 and sneered, "All your blood, tears,
 and your life."

 Jesus said without
 hesitation, "DONE!"

 Then He paid the price.

 - Isn't it funny how
 simple it is for people to trash God
 and then wonder why the World's going
 to Hell?

 - Isn't it funny how
 someone can say "I believe in God"
 out and
 still follow Satan?

 - Isn't it funny how you
 can re-post a thousand jokes through
 blogs and they spread like
 wildfire, but when you start posting
 messages regarding the Lord, people
 think twice about sharing?

 - Isn't it funny how I
 can be more worried about what other
 people think of me than what God
 thinks of me.

 - I pray, for everyone
  who re-posts this, they will be
 blessed
 by God in a way special for them



 - If You Love God...
 And, are not ashamed of all the
 marvelous things HE has done for
 you...

 ~Re-post this as
''Read only if you have time for God"

[mood| giggly ]
[music| Love Song / / Sara Bareilles ]

Because that's life. :)

Ma.Ii.Do.Aa.Rii!

(lol Hikkiiiii :D)

---

1 .What's the worst thing about hugs?
Pag manyak yung hinuhug nyo. Hahahaha. XD

2. Have you kissed someone in the past
3 weeks?
No

3. What will your weekend consist of?
Things for my Heights screening

4. Did you talk to anybody random?
Not really :))

5. Did any particular thing brighten
up your day?
ROCKBAND! :) And failing in guitar. :(

6 . What's the stupidest thing you did?
Not being able to understand most simple things.

7. Did your last outing involve the
police?
LOLNO XD

8. If you could hug anyone right now,
who would it be?
There are a lot of people. :)) Lester owes me a hug too. D:

9. Do you make every decision as if
your parents are watching you?
O_O slkejfklslkjtdlsktj

10. When was the last time you were
grounded?
Hmm.

11. Do you love any body more than
words can say?
Not at the moment :P

12. When did you last get the
butterflies??
AYYY. :))

13. What were you doing at 12 AM four
days ago?
PC

1 4. Do you sleep with socks or shoes
on?
None. Pero pag super lamig magsosocks ako

15. If you could change anything about
your past would you?
Hmm. Not really.

16. Do you like someone?
Ayyy. :)

17. Does anyone think you're a bitch?
Ionno. :(

18. Who was your last text from?
Diday :D

19. Do you consider your best friend
attractive ?
HAHAHAHAHA MALAKAS KAMANDAG NUN. Mas lalong lalakas pa yun pag nagpasecksay din siya. :))

20. When was the last time you went
ice skating?
When I was 8. D:

21. Have you ever been on a real date?
NO :))

22. Describe the perfect girlfriend in
one word..
Girlfriend?? Hmm. XD

23. Your team loses-are you watching
the next game?
Depends on the kind of game XD

24. A best friend should always:
Be ready to listen whenever, wherever.

25. Who was the last person you hugged?
Si Tin or Tasha ata. XD

26. What was the last thing that made
you smile?
Ayyy. :))

27. Have you ever been fired from a
job?
Eh. Wala pa ko nun.

28. Someone trips in front of you-what
do you do?
Tutulungan, tapos tatawanan. JOKE. :))

29. Have you ever attended a school
dance?
Yes :)

31. A person says they like you-you
say..
D:!!!

32. What's your favorite thing to do
while watching a movie?
Humilata. :)

[mood| happy ]
[music| I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) / / Fallout Boy ]

^I'm getting the LSS on this song. :(

I'M STOPPING WITH ALL THE AWFULLY DELICIOUS EMO ENTRIES. But yeah, I'm going back to my weird insane entries that I used to indulge in greatly. XD

---

Did you people know that Amy, my wonderfully awesome blockmate/friend/anime partner-in-crime is the most awesome in Math??? We were chatting our asses off in Math class because we didn't have questions about the diagnostic test and yeah.

XD

It's like when I'm beside Amy (or maybe because I studied in hardcore mode in the past few days) do I not feel anywhere near the sabaw-ed mode that I used to be in whenever I see numbers. LATELY. :))

So I was doing okay in the diagnostic test in Math this afternoon, was kinda surprised when I realized that I finished ahead of time. Usually I'd panic and cram during Math tests, because back in high school, Dr. P's tests are nosebleed-worthy. XD

YAY FOR AMYYYY. :)) I sat beside her during the test so I could get Amy vibes and do better in Math. BY THIS I DO NOT MEAN CHEATING IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING. :(

(This is a clear indication that my entry ain't emo: SMILEYS. XDDDD)

---

I joined two orgs today: FAS and Heights. I still have two screening things for Heights, so I think Imma be busy for the following days because I'm gonna be in mah art mode *dorkified 8D*

And right now aside from blogging and talking to random people, I'm filling up my Heights application form and they ask the weirdest questions. EXHIBIT A, B, AND C:

Heighters are: pretty. :)
My moviestar name is: Ellie Kamote
What makes the world go round? Er. Terrorists. :S
If I were a fruit I'd be an orange because I just want to be one :X
I will go to jail for vandalizing billboards. :(
My feet isare a brilliant shade of pink
I would marry Holden Caulfield (from the Catcher in the Rye), kill anyone who goes in between our love, and screw this I could not answer

Possible answers for screw-able people:
1. Johnny Depp (but I can't; he's too divine. :( LOL this is what Paper says about David Cook too. XD)
2. This guy who... secret. :)
3. no one. I'm too innocent for screwing people! 8D

[mood| contemplative ]
[music| Ateneans gone wild ]

Yes, for the first time, I am using free internet somewhere other than home, or at my cousin's. I'm at school! 8D I just registered my laptop for Wi-Fi this morning with Patrick, and I couldn't get to use the internet then 'cause I had to wait a couple of hours before getting to finally use the awesome internet here at the Ateneo. I had my 3 hour break spent with some of my blockmates at the Caf and I forgot that I had my routine interview at the Guidance Office today.

Oh noes!

---

Did you people know that I turn emo when I'm alone? This is a fairly recent discovery I had about myself, because in the earlier days people think I'm crazy because I do crazy stuff when I'm alone.

(shall not give exhibit A's and those kinds of things.)

---

Lately I've been contemplating too much on my horrid-ness. I haven't apologized to certain people because I've been such an awful friend these past years. Sometimes, when I think they're slightly peeved at my un-girly-ness or other annoying antics, I'd usually wanna tell them. But cowardice eats me whole.

It's like I always fall slave to my emotions. Something I've never gotten out of since my everyday-I'm-emo-zomg state last year. (Although despite that, my favorite entry was also written during my super emo days!)

And because of this "slavery" I think I'm going stupid on things that I did not used to be "stupid" in.

For example MATH. To be honest, I just hate math, but that doesn't mean I suck at math. But it's like lately my head's empty when people give me a problem to solve.

And then there came BIOTECH. I initially thought it must've had something to do with Taxonomy or animals, but turns out that BioTech was genetics, and MEDICINE. So I took BioTech and got shocked. And I might even fail today's quiz, which we had just about half an hour ago, before I went here to Mateo Ricci. I hate Genetics. My brain was souped when I tried reading this book I borrowed from the Rizal Library last week.

I HATE BEING STUPID. :( In St Scho it was okay (but I usually complained about it, but I don't turn emo because of it) but here it makes me wonder why I even passed the ACETs in the first place.

(Remember that time when I said I'd purposely fail the ACETs? I didn't do that, however, my head felt like jelly after everything was said and done. To my surprise..!)

And adjustments. Oh, the adjustments. Did you people know that I still haven't been feeling fully attached to Ateneo?

I feel it's hard to make real friends here. Sorta. I try not to compare it to the people in St. Scho where I can goof off and be myself (this I can do here, but only to my St. Scho friends.) but sometimes I end up feeling all overly contemplative and lonely. Even when I'm with this one friend in which I will not be disclosing here.

Sometimes, I don't even feel like myself anymore. :(

(lol this sounds like my I-quitting-theatre-because-I-ain't-happy-with-writing-no-more phase during my junior year in highschool.)

YAY ATENEO WI-FII!! X3 *dork mode*

[mood| dorky ]
[music| Vienna / / The Fray ]

SSHHH. I'm cramming.


EDIT:
This is what Paper says about me. XD

Jillian Young: bina- body slam nya ako lam mo ba. kaya bagay sa judo yan
Jillian Young: kahet maliit katawan nian, mas kawawa pa mga lalake sa kanya XD
Jillian Young: (WAg daw ako maniwala sayo.)
Zyron Oviedo: ngaun may karapatan na talga ako matakot.. @_@.....waaaaaaaaa......wawa nmn ako..ting ting na nga ako e.... @_@
Zyron Oviedo: hala
Jillian Young: tapos mahilig yan manundot. mabubutas tyan mo kaka sundot nian. kaya if you think she's a kid THINK AGAIN XD

Taken from the convo she had with Zy. Zy copypasted it on my im window for the lulz. XD

[mood| dorky ]
[music| Vienna / / The Fray ]

People: did you know that I hate frogs? As in really, really hate frogs? Deathly afraid of them too. I have no idea why, maybe because their croaking and chirping makes me shudder like mad and the fact that their pee can bring you warts. (at least, this is what my brother's childhood says.)

And, did you people know that I have a love-hate relationship with the rain? I love the rain when I'm out of it, and yet even when I'm out of the rain, I still hate it, because it makes the frogs come out? (Especially during thunderstorms, where there are frogs AND brown-outs. URGH.)

Mindless rambling from someone whose teeth badly hurt right now. :P

---

Bad internets! Bad! :(

(lol I've been calling it that way since last week for unknown reasons so don't kill me if you are allergic to grammatically incorrect things. XD)

The internets have been down since yesterday, after the power came back. This is another reason why I hate thunderstorms. It shuts down everything that keeps me sane. :( Unfortunately for me yesterday, I used up all the battery on my laptop so I was left staring at the ceiling for god knows how long. Luckily I played Scrabble with my family (in which I seriously got kicked in the ass in, for really surprising reasons--I'm starting to lose my midas touch with words!!!! *dies of shame*) which was a real breather because it's only times like those when we're really together (with my parents and siblings, I mean, because my brother and sister usually don't do stuff with my parents unlike me. :P).

ARGH I HATE IT WHEN THE INTERNETS SUCK. BOO YOU GLOBE, BOO YOU. WE'RE SWITCHING TO PLDT!!!

*dies*

---

And I can't even post this thing I'm writing atm. BECAUSE THE INTERNETS SUCKKK!!!

[mood| sad ]
[music| I'm part of you indefinitely. :) ]

Some of my Atenean friends (*cough* just 2 actually, and one of them is Tin who's been one of my closest friends since forever) know that I haven't been too happy lately.

*dies from the exaggeration*

At least, just today.

But if you didn't know that, then. News Flash. :)

---

Two S's: sad and stupid. Maybe it's just adjustment blues, but who gives a damn. What's important is that I'm forgetting all the things I learned in high school! It's been bothering me all week, and it's making me feel guilty for the 90 I got in Math during senior year (that's the highest I can go for said subject, sadly. :( ) and what's more is that I feel so bad that I might be letting my mom down with the scholarship deal.

Help!

---

I think I may have finally cracked with this whole adjustment deal. Last time I said that I think I'm doing well with all the adjustment thing with college and stuff, turns out that I still feel sort of detached with the people around me (except for some of my old friends of course) and it's driving me crazy. Usually I could easily adapt to my surroundings, and the thought of this is really frustrating me.

And I feel so low-class in front of everyone, and there's this one person who lowers my self-esteem even more. Not because she's great, or anything. It's that.. she tells me very frank things that were meant to offend, and I'm serious. It's not my paranoia. The way this person says it is very demeaning and stuff.

But still, she's a good friend.

---

I miss my friends. Majo, Julie, Marla, Effie, Claudine. Really badly. I've been comfortable around them (but I'm sort of lucky compared to them because Tin is with me) and now that they're gone and I'm thrust upon a new set of people, whom I really do like, however doesn't feel the same.. doesn't feel as comforting as the people I used to hang out before.

Pretense is inevitable. Pretense is unexcusable. However I try to be a hypocrite and wear masks. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

Judgement makes me afraid.